Authenticity

This morning the fall candle is lit, the coffee steamy  (haven’t made a good cup like this in a long time, not sure what I did different-ha), the maple yogurt with pumpkin granola (made by a sweet friend) was divine, the children are still in bed and my husband and I came before the throne with our praises and our needs. The quiet was a gift!

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And yet my mind is cluttered, I sit with piles of summer/winter clothes in my sun room waiting for good homes.  The school room and the toy room have remnants of yesterday’s play. The dishes (thank goodness their clean) from last night all still need put away.  The laundry needs started, I have dead flowers sitting in vases that need taken out (days ago), the yogurt needs made (the milk will go bad if I wait one more day), Camden’s basketball form needs run up the street (TODAY because our Upwards fills up that quickly, today is opening day for registration), the rose garden project that I have been attempting to re-do is no farther advanced then it was 6 months ago,  the kids need loved on, school needs to happen (side bar, I had no idea it would be so hard to home school).  You get it, the list is long. I am sure your list is long  too……..

So how do I do life well in the midst of this?  How do I love well when life is pressing in? How do I connect with Jesus when there is no time to just sit for hours (like I used to do when I was single) before his face?

My wise mentor, Martha spoke these words as I bore my soul to her this summer! Today I am re-reading her words and taking them to heart.

She said, “Dawn, the seed (my ideals of a clean house, the longing for uninterrupted time with the Lord, the notion that the list will get done today, my own agenda) must die so that it can bring forth fruit (happy children, a joyful momma when the list isn’t completed-practicing joy even when I don’t feel it, children who are read to, children who have been shown Jesus in every day living).”  She said that all the time I had before children was a good planting but now the ‘Authentic Test of my Faith’ is being applied.   And that He, Jesus is more pleased with me living out of my sacrifice and service to my husband and my children then a perfectly peaceful heart because things went as I had hoped.  She said, “What if this is what HE wants more from you right now/the serving more then the long quiet time with Him?”  These were the words I needed to hear.  So often I get lost in what I perceive is holy and I sacrifice that for what is really the best…..giving of myself completely to my husband and children.  This she tells me is ‘Authentic Faith’.

She continues to speak truth to me.  She tells me to hold my hands open, lifted up in worship, in sacrifice to Him.  Somehow in the lifting up of my hands, I let something in my heart go, that frees me.  When I place in one hand all that Jesus is, He’s the perfect planner, the perfect organizer, the perfect civilizer of any domain, the perfect parent and the list goes on, you get it.  And I hold in the other hand me, myself and all the things that I deem inadequate about myself but when I bring both of my hands together and lift them (literally) in worship.  I find surrender.  I find tears.  I find release.  I am offering my sacrifice.  He receives me just like I am.  These days I am doing this a lot!! The seed is dying and it’s painful but I am trusting HIM to bring forth fruit!  He is able to sustain me because He has all the resources!!  I am not talking here about easy answers or cliche.  I am talking here about my ‘hard’ about your ‘hard’.  Placing them in the hand of myself but naming all the things He is in the other and offering it, really offering it!

What is HE speaking to you in the messes of your days? I would love to hear about it!  Just remember, don’t wear the names your giving yourself (i.e. inadequate, failure, most impatient momma on the planet, not-enough) run to HIM about the names you should be wearing.  They will make all the differnce in how you live your life. 

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My path is always open, please come visit!

Sweet PEACE my friend!

Dawn

 

13 Commentsto Authenticity

  1. Chelsey says:

    Dawn I don’t think you know how much I needed to hear what you just said. I love Jesus so much and owe Him everything, He has blessed me greatly, but I so often am busy being a mother and wife that I hate the little time I give to Him. Even though He is on my mind everyday almost all day. No one has ever put things quite like you just did and it makes me love my life even more! So thank you for those uplifting words. Blessings to you and yours.

    • Dawn Dawn says:

      Chelsey, He sees your sacrifice! My prayer is that you will receive in your heart ALL the love HE has towards you! The longest distance is from our head to our hearts. So often we get it in our heads but we don’t let it sink into the core of our hearts! Thanks for taking the time to comment!

  2. Alison Wood says:

    Hi Dawn
    I was wondering if you could share your friends pumpkin granola? That you posted today.love your blog.I look forward to that.you always have such good ideas. If you have any fall ideas or recipes could you post some of them?
    Thanks again
    Alison

    • Dawn Dawn says:

      Maybe I will blog about it but in between now and then, don’t you work for Katrina? It’s her recipe. 🙂 Go ask her.

  3. Amy says:

    I definitely needed to hear this today <3 Thank you so much for posting!!

  4. Clarita says:

    It’s so interesting seeing my mother through someone else’s eyes. 🙂 And yes, she has a wealth of wisdom! I LOVE the thought of this time of motherhood being seed that is planted. Wow. What is my idea of hours of uninterrupted time with Him is not HIS idea for me right now? Ouch. This is such a great reminder and challenge. Xoxo

  5. karla neuschwander says:

    So well said!! So often I feel like I have failed when the end of the day comes and I haven’t gotten a chance to just soak in His presence and my communicating with Him was more desperate pleas for wisdom all day long :). But as you said sacrificial loving my family and setting down my “seed” is what he is asking of me for the right now. So I will worship with my hands high through serving my family.

    • Dawn Dawn says:

      I wrote this today for myself as much as anyone. I know it in my head but it’s the living out that gets so sticky!! Bless you Karla, as you love well your family!

  6. carmen says:

    Okay, these words could not have been more t.i.m.e.l.y for me. Such a great reminder!! Now if I can just go and live this out – feels so ‘in my head’, and I’m longing to find it fleshing out more in my own life.!! But, I guess as I face failure, then place it in that one hand with all my imperfection — and — when it meets the other raised hand of “Jesus/Perfection” t.h.e.n. it becomes His Grace.

    I was 34 when I married and 35 when our first child was born. I felt so very ready for this stage of life. But, honestly, sometimes I wonder if that “ripe age” and established patterns, and footloose living 😉 actually have made it a bit tougher to be okay with the chaos that a young family brings to life. Trust me, I wouldn’t trade this precious gift God has blessed me/us with (4 precious littles) for anything, and there’s many many times that my husband and I talk about how blessed we are to have 4 healthy beautiful children at our late start of our family! But, it’s hard work.

    • Dawn Dawn says:

      God is so good that way!! He really walks with us in the daily stuff of our lives and gives us light bit by bit! Blessings to you as you love your children well! It’s no small feat!! Thanks for your comments! Blessings to you!

  7. Ruth says:

    Pleasantly surprised to find you on my news feed today 🙂 the last time I remember seeing you was from our Penial Christian School days.
    Someone just recently told me to do the very things with my hands as you described & lifting them to God. And I am once again encouraged to do this & I love that affirmation.
    We too have been struggling tremendously with how to manage are time. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, my day has been blessed because of it.

    • Dawn Dawn says:

      Gracious, we were kids weren’t we? Those were hard days for me but the one thing I remember was how real Bro Dahler was. That man really had an influence on my life. I am grateful for the opportunity to have been under his leadership! Bless you as you love well. It’s choices and it’s hard choices in the midst of our ‘daily walk’. Would love to see you sometime! Blessings!

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