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Often at Christmas time I view ‘Peace On Earth’, that little phrase in the olde Christmas carol with some cynicism. How can we sing about ‘Peace On Earth’ when there really is hate on a broader level, when there is broken feelings with people I love? This year there has been a fresh perspective, a new understanding, that ‘though the wrongs won’t be righted today or tomorrow’ I can in a small way bring ‘Peace On Earth’ in my domain, to my sphere of influence.
It comes with me praying before the Lord and asking Him what He wants me to take on, who He wants me to reach out to? It comes with a soul awareness that as I align my heart to His I can bring ‘Peace On Earth’ to my children, to the people I rub shoulders with.
Often in the chaos, the externals are not peaceful but my soul can be at a place of deep peace because the ‘Prince of Peace’ Isaiah 9:6 is with me. And I am learning on those days and in those moments when I am in turmoil that it is an invitation to me from HIM to bring the anxiousness, the questions, and the longings to him.
One day when I was in an anxious funk, I told my kids I needed 30 minutes of quiet and this is what my Kate prepared for my quiet. It was such a moment of servitude from her even though they are solid wood. 🙂 It brought a beautiful peace to my soul!
When I sat down at the computer to find pictures to put in this post, I found this picture, taken by one of my sons. I think it fits so perfectly on this topic! If your world feels a little like this picture…..it’s an invitation from HIM to you…….to quiet your uneasy heart before HIM!
My baby, Will, 2 years old set up the nativity this week with all our stuffed animals. Joseph was the goat, Mary was the sheepy, and gorilla was the baby. He had flying cows as stars. And he was happiest, eyes twinkling when he started with his treasured blankie as the platform.
The moment was so scared and all I could was weep as he narrated the story for me. At one point when he was placing the wise men, a dolphin and penguin he shouted, “NO ROOM”. And isn’t that just like us, that the more we let ‘other voices’ crowd things in our heart our peaces vanishes. God touched me in a deep place in my soul this week as he narrated the story for me.
I am so grateful for many things, the ‘Prince of Peace’ constantly with me in this day. And when I have ‘NO ROOM’ he proposes an invitation to my heart and I can always come to him the ‘God of Peace’. I Thessalonians 5:23
P.S. One final picture. We celebrated big this past weekend in DC. My husband turns 50 this week. He is such a gift to me!
We laid my husband’s great niece to rest 4 days ago.
There is something about burying a 3 year old who has fought a battle with cancer that shakes you deep to the core. The questions surface? You ponder! You cry! You some how come to terms that God really is ok with the questions, because HE is present and is aware of our humanity!
There is a new element to grieving that I have never walked before, it’s helping my children grieve and grieve well. We could have left them at home from the service but choose not to. There is something about them seeing pain with Merv and I at there side. They need to see our tears, hear the sadness in our voice and then also extend their own arms and hug the people closest to the situation.
Our Kate, who is 4 months older then Imogen Sky just kept telling me on Sunday, “This is the saddest day ever?” Yes baby, it is a very sad day! She was trying to figure out why they were burying her in a treasure chest, I actually like that name for a coffin better, I think it will stick. As we lingered at the grave side, she told me she wasn’t ready to go even though the committal was over. It wasn’t until we went and laid flowers on the ‘treasure chest’ that she was ready. She was just disturbed that we would bury Imogene with the worms. All of these questions were great opportunities to share with her that ‘this world is not our home.’ I don’t know to what degree she comprehends what I shared with her because some of these concepts I don’t get. I choose to trust that the God who made Kate and formed her; will open her understanding even when it doesn’t seem right that we are burying little Imogen with the worms.
It is amazing how God is in the sadness, the questions?! You hug your children longer, you linger a bit more as they tell their story. You realize that life, this specific life that has been crafted for me by an Almighty God isn’t meant to be taken for granted. We all know that but it’s in these moments that you ‘get it.’ All of you have had your own moments, your “it” where you heard Jesus calling you deeper into relationships. That is what this past weekend has done for me!
We were driving home from Story Hour at the library this morning and this song, Flawless by Mercy Me was playing. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I. HEAR. IT I weep! There is something so beautiful, healing to my soul about this song.
And I told my kids, “Kids, if you don’t get anything else I am teaching you, ‘GET THIS………….Jesus has made you flawless”. I am on this journey of homeschooling and we have good days and bad days. I have the QUESTIONS!! All of them!!!! They range from will my kids be alright on the other side of this journey, would they be better off in a school and on and on they go? I wrestle a lot with all of these things BUT in that moment it was sacred and they asked, “Mom, are you crying?” Yes, mom is crying? I don’t have to get all this stuff perfect. All He is asking of me is to be faithful and at this time in my life He has called me to this path. I know it, I have the confirmations from earlier this year but I am human and I still question.
I saw little Kate sitting in the back seat wiping tears from her little, chocolate dropped eyes. Did she understand it all? I doubt it but in that silence I knew we had a ‘holy’ moment! I saw CJ just look at me in complete silence, the van was still as a pin; that rarely happens!
I don’t know where your soul needs grace today but I pray that you will let the words of this song seep into your fibers! Cause the truth is we are all bumped, bruised and scarred!
This post isn’t about my glowing ‘word’ of the year or about ‘my goals’. Shucks, I hardly knew it was New Year’s Eve the other night. I was in bed long before 12 only to have the guns around our neighborhood wake me to remind me that it indeed is 2015!
Isn’t it amazing how you can capture moments where life looks so peaceful and everything looks serene? That is captured well here in this picture (we look a little worn out from all the posing because this was at the very end of the photo shoot but really every thing still looks pretty peaceful)!
But the reality is that our life has been far from that since Will Franklin was born. I had a nearly perfect pregnancy, at 40 no less but life outside the womb has been hard for Will. The first 8 weeks he cried all the time, we had 1 week of calm and then at 9 weeks he picked up Pertussis, aka whooping cough.
We have seen God’s hand in many neat ways over the past 3 months. I could write for hours but as you can imagine there are a lot of other things that need my attention these days. Shoot, I can’t even get the laundry done. 🙂
I would like to share a snibbet of what I posted on facebook October 20, 2014. It gives you a glimpse into God’s care for us and in an previous post before this one I had shared how people were bringing food and picking up laundry, we have been well cared for!
So many of you are praying for us and lifting us to Jesus, thank you! Your words have given us such courage. I want to share a bit: In the wee hours yesterday morning I had this overwhelming sense like the Great Physician was just here. His presence was so real in our home!!
We had, had a much better night but I was afraid to believe because based on all that we had read this is the 100 day illness and the extreme coughing can be around for weeks and then add the fact that Will is a teeny, tiny baby that only complicates it.
We went about our morning and after breakfast, Merv as the Elder in our home gathered us around and we had an anointing service for Will. And as my babies laid hands on Will and squeaked out prayers that only Jesus understood I now know something happened. We have gone from 5 minute violent, gagging, coughing fits every 45-60 minutes 4 days ago to 1-2 minute coughing fits and some of them are even 90 minutes apart.
This morning, in the wee hours the song, The Gentle Healer came to me. It makes me weep. I don’t know what the future holds for my family but Jesus never wastes an opportunity, I don’t want to either. I can’t help but believe that one of my friends out here needs Jesus, in a personal way. In their own heart, not the faith of someone else and so I share this song (just click the link):
I don’t know how long I will be breaking from my blog again but I suppose it will be a good number of months before I am back in the saddle. Thanks for your prayers!
Do look for a free e-book opportunity on The Farmer’s Daughter around the end of February right here. Baker Publishing is currently working on another 24 hours of a free download.
Blessings to you as you walk your journey well!