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This post isn’t about my glowing ‘word’ of the year or about ‘my goals’. Shucks, I hardly knew it was New Year’s Eve the other night. I was in bed long before 12 only to have the guns around our neighborhood wake me to remind me that it indeed is 2015!
Isn’t it amazing how you can capture moments where life looks so peaceful and everything looks serene? That is captured well here in this picture (we look a little worn out from all the posing because this was at the very end of the photo shoot but really every thing still looks pretty peaceful)!
But the reality is that our life has been far from that since Will Franklin was born. I had a nearly perfect pregnancy, at 40 no less but life outside the womb has been hard for Will. The first 8 weeks he cried all the time, we had 1 week of calm and then at 9 weeks he picked up Pertussis, aka whooping cough.
We have seen God’s hand in many neat ways over the past 3 months. I could write for hours but as you can imagine there are a lot of other things that need my attention these days. Shoot, I can’t even get the laundry done. 🙂
I would like to share a snibbet of what I posted on facebook October 20, 2014. It gives you a glimpse into God’s care for us and in an previous post before this one I had shared how people were bringing food and picking up laundry, we have been well cared for!
So many of you are praying for us and lifting us to Jesus, thank you! Your words have given us such courage. I want to share a bit: In the wee hours yesterday morning I had this overwhelming sense like the Great Physician was just here. His presence was so real in our home!!
We had, had a much better night but I was afraid to believe because based on all that we had read this is the 100 day illness and the extreme coughing can be around for weeks and then add the fact that Will is a teeny, tiny baby that only complicates it.
We went about our morning and after breakfast, Merv as the Elder in our home gathered us around and we had an anointing service for Will. And as my babies laid hands on Will and squeaked out prayers that only Jesus understood I now know something happened. We have gone from 5 minute violent, gagging, coughing fits every 45-60 minutes 4 days ago to 1-2 minute coughing fits and some of them are even 90 minutes apart.
This morning, in the wee hours the song, The Gentle Healer came to me. It makes me weep. I don’t know what the future holds for my family but Jesus never wastes an opportunity, I don’t want to either. I can’t help but believe that one of my friends out here needs Jesus, in a personal way. In their own heart, not the faith of someone else and so I share this song (just click the link):
I don’t know how long I will be breaking from my blog again but I suppose it will be a good number of months before I am back in the saddle. Thanks for your prayers!
Do look for a free e-book opportunity on The Farmer’s Daughter around the end of February right here. Baker Publishing is currently working on another 24 hours of a free download.
Blessings to you as you walk your journey well!
Life for me has been kind of random as of late. Mentally and physically preparing for the birth of my 4th baby, which should arrive in 4 weeks. I am preparing room in my for heart for this little baby that just kicks and kicks and I can’t wait to hold that slimly little baby close to me.
I turned 40 last week. We partied, thanks to my hubbs, mom and sister who were scheming behind my back. My mom and sister prepared such a delightful brunch for the guests my husband carefully thought thru to invite; some really good girl friends and some older woman who have spoken into my life. I was so humbled by their presence and kind words! They offered me life!
The green beans are up and the 50 tomato plants look great. This is all thanks to some dear folks from church who found out we were not going to do a garden this year and asked if they could share our garden space. Why “Yes please, we would be happy to share our garden plot and the work load.” I am so thrilled about this opportunity. It’s just a small way I am seeing Jesus care for us!
My deck which was barren and simple was transformed when my mother and sister showed up with presents to make it a lovely, oasis. They strung lights and what not. A place where I want to go have my quiet time at. My husband bought me a beautiful bistro table complete with red pillows and umbrella. We love to sit out there and enjoy the quiet and I have been fortunate to have a few friends over to sip coffee with me, it’s just a respite from the daily
hold rums of living!
All 100 blueberry and 45 black raspberry plants are in. My hubbs, boys and I did it one day. I hurt for days after wards and felt like I could sleep for a whole week post berry bush planting. But they are in and we hope to produce a lot of healthy small berries out of that patch for years to come.
I have been crafting a bit, rare occurrence these days. I forgot how wonderful a hot glue gun smells. I used to use mine all the time, when free time was more plentiful. Just that smell takes me back, it’s a smell of days gone by. It was all so odd how it took me back. Last week I also finally took down a few remnants of Christmas, (red berries that were still pretty and Christmas cookie jars) whew was I ever behind this year!!!
Fire fly’s and little boys are such a wonder to me. My boys loose all track of time when they set there hearts on catching fire fly’s. They remind me to linger just a bit longer. The other night, in the rain they are climbing on rails with nets and what not because they wanted to capture the firefly on the window all the while they had already been given orders to get there jammies on. They really were not being defiant, they were just lost in the wonder of light. When I stop and look at the world through their eyes, it causes me to want to slow down just a bit more!
We happened upon a local, reasonably priced U-Pick strawberry patch this summer and have picked well over 100 lbs of strawberries. Let’ s just say my husband has passed his love of straws onto his boys!!
I am using lots of paper plates these days. I have given myself permission. Sometimes it’s in the giving of permission that you realize it really is ok. That I am not lazy, but it is a coping mechanism to survival. I want to live life well and not feel like I am constantly in a squeeze. So part of that is using paper as I finish out this 3rd trimester pregnancy, and work on umpteen freezer meals (will share a post in a week or 2 about freezer meals) for when baby #4, and homeschooler #1 need my attention and all of us need to eat!
I still dream about business, it’s amazing to me how it side wipes me every now and again. I love it that ‘HOPE’ is kept alive by these little side swipes. The Lord keeps bringing people into my life to remind that HE really did place that dream in my heart. I will run into old customers, job opportunities (even though I am not willing to lay down these moments with my babies for those opportunities) and people who want to pick our brains and draw from our experience. It all just happens in the oddest of places but out of that HOPE is kept alive in my soul. I wonder if there will ever be a ‘release’ in my heart to do another business or what it will look like? I have many dreams and many more questions but for now, we will plant 30-50 each of peonies and hydrangeas and see what kind of LIFE they will bring to us and just maybe a business opportunity? Peonies have got to be the prettiest flowers there are. This lovely bouquet came from my friend Sarah. They have come and gone but I still wanted to share their beauty.
And finally, as I prepare for baby #4, I am amazed at the growth in my soul. I remember being so overwhelmed about ‘all the stuff’ that was not getting done when I had baby #1. I have learned to let go of things that really weren’t quite as important as I deemed them to be. Not that they didn’t have value in our home but I think that as I am preparing my heart for baby #4 and I see all the things that may not get done; like my kitchen floor not getting swept every day or the house not perfectly picked up or a blog post that is 4 weeks past due, I realize that there is more of a settled peace in my heart today then there was 6 years ago when I was adjusting to baby #1. Jesus is inviting me to press in, to walk this path with a new sense of rest. I would never have thought this possible but I am learning that this life, our journey is not so much about our circumstances but it is about pressing in and embracing what may seem to be schedule irritations. I am finding this quote so amazingly true!! “The More You Love Your Decisions, the Less You Need Others to Love Them.”
We hosted a party last week. It was so much fun. I am not sure if it was my kids or I who was most excited? As a mom, I struggle in knowing how to wrap my arms around the fact that Christmas is about Jesus coming in flesh as a baby but we all get the gifts? How do I impart the mystery of Christmas to my little ones? And let me tell you I love gifts. I love Christmas, I love all the cozy, warm feelings that go along with every thing around this glorious event. But yet I wrestle, I want my kids to get it. That Christmas is so much more then the gifts we get or that it’s not about Santa Claus or being ‘naughty or nice’ contrary to what my neighbors are discussing with my boys?
So my husband and I have talked for several years about doing a party for Jesus. Some year we hope to do it with dad’s joining us but this year it was a day party with mom’s and lots of little kids.
We invited about 16+ kids and told them to bring $$ for an animal project that we would pick out from a Gospel for Asia or World Vision Christmas catalog. They had fun looking thru the catalogs!
My boys were so into this party. I don’t think they nearly understood everything but then again maybe they got more then I think. Cj was racing around taping little Snoopy pictures to the front door and Camden was blowing up every balloon he could put his little mouth on. We were partying! And it’s in that Spirit that Christ breathes wind into our souls, if we let HIM!We had a simple line up. When they arrived we were going to go to the card making station and they were supposed to make a birthday card for Jesus and tell him what they want to give HIM or do for HIM this Christmas. The cards were varied and touching! Such sweet creativity! For the wee ones we had a little baby Jesus paper that they could paste real straw on the manager.
This morning the fall candle is lit, the coffee steamy (haven’t made a good cup like this in a long time, not sure what I did different-ha), the maple yogurt with pumpkin granola (made by a sweet friend) was divine, the children are still in bed and my husband and I came before the throne with our praises and our needs. The quiet was a gift!
And yet my mind is cluttered, I sit with piles of summer/winter clothes in my sun room waiting for good homes. The school room and the toy room have remnants of yesterday’s play. The dishes (thank goodness their clean) from last night all still need put away. The laundry needs started, I have dead flowers sitting in vases that need taken out (days ago), the yogurt needs made (the milk will go bad if I wait one more day), Camden’s basketball form needs run up the street (TODAY because our Upwards fills up that quickly, today is opening day for registration), the rose garden project that I have been attempting to re-do is no farther advanced then it was 6 months ago, the kids need loved on, school needs to happen (side bar, I had no idea it would be so hard to home school). You get it, the list is long. I am sure your list is long too……..
So how do I do life well in the midst of this? How do I love well when life is pressing in? How do I connect with Jesus when there is no time to just sit for hours (like I used to do when I was single) before his face?
My wise mentor, Martha spoke these words as I bore my soul to her this summer! Today I am re-reading her words and taking them to heart.
She said, “Dawn, the seed (my ideals of a clean house, the longing for uninterrupted time with the Lord, the notion that the list will get done today, my own agenda) must die so that it can bring forth fruit (happy children, a joyful momma when the list isn’t completed-practicing joy even when I don’t feel it, children who are read to, children who have been shown Jesus in every day living).” She said that all the time I had before children was a good planting but now the ‘Authentic Test of my Faith’ is being applied. And that He, Jesus is more pleased with me living out of my sacrifice and service to my husband and my children then a perfectly peaceful heart because things went as I had hoped. She said, “What if this is what HE wants more from you right now/the serving more then the long quiet time with Him?” These were the words I needed to hear. So often I get lost in what I perceive is holy and I sacrifice that for what is really the best…..giving of myself completely to my husband and children. This she tells me is ‘Authentic Faith’.
She continues to speak truth to me. She tells me to hold my hands open, lifted up in worship, in sacrifice to Him. Somehow in the lifting up of my hands, I let something in my heart go, that frees me. When I place in one hand all that Jesus is, He’s the perfect planner, the perfect organizer, the perfect civilizer of any domain, the perfect parent and the list goes on, you get it. And I hold in the other hand me, myself and all the things that I deem inadequate about myself but when I bring both of my hands together and lift them (literally) in worship. I find surrender. I find tears. I find release. I am offering my sacrifice. He receives me just like I am. These days I am doing this a lot!! The seed is dying and it’s painful but I am trusting HIM to bring forth fruit! He is able to sustain me because He has all the resources!! I am not talking here about easy answers or cliche. I am talking here about my ‘hard’ about your ‘hard’. Placing them in the hand of myself but naming all the things He is in the other and offering it, really offering it!
What is HE speaking to you in the messes of your days? I would love to hear about it! Just remember, don’t wear the names your giving yourself (i.e. inadequate, failure, most impatient momma on the planet, not-enough) run to HIM about the names you should be wearing. They will make all the differnce in how you live your life.
Sweet PEACE my friend!